Hashers, meet the Hashers,
We're the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of __________,
We're the leaders in debauchery.

Half-minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch us, as we drink a lot of beer,
Down down, down down down down,
Down down down down down down down down down . . .

Beer, beer, beer, tiddly beer, beer, beer
A long time ago, way back in history
When all there was to drink was nothing but cups of tea
Along came a man by the name of Charlie Mopps
And he invented a wonderful drink and he made it out of hops

(Chorus)

He must have been an admiral, a sultan, or a king

And to his praises we shall always sing

Look what he has done for us, he's filled us up with cheer

Lord bless Charlie Mopps,

The man who invented beer beer beer, tiddley beer beer beer...

The Jury's Bar, the Clancy's Pub, the Hole in the Wall as well
One thing you can be sure of, it's Charlie's beer they sell
So come on all ye lucky lads at eleven O'clock ye stop
For five short seconds, remember Charlie Mopps
One, two, three, four, five

Chorus

A barrel of malt, A bushel of hops, you stir it around with a stick,
The kind of lubrication to make your engine tick.
Forty pints of wallop a day will keep away the quacks.
It's only eight pence ha'penny and one and six in tax
One, two, three, four, five

Chorus

The lord bless Charlie Mopps!

There was a young lady named Lou
who said as the parson withdrew--
"Now the Vicar is quicker,
And thicker, and slicker,
And two inches longer than you.[1]

Chorus:

That was a cute little rhyme
Sing us another one, do--oo-- [1]

There was a young man from Nantucket
Whose cock was so long he could suck it
And he said with a grin
As he wiped off his chin--
"If my ear was a cunt I could fuck it."[1]
chorus

There was a young man from Samoa
Who had just one inch, and no more
It was all right for keyholes
And little girl's pee-holes
but not worth a damn to a whore.[1]
chorus

There was a young man named Perkin
who was furtively jerking his gerkin
His wife's face grew red
As to him she said
Perkin you're shirkin your perkin[1]
chorus

Here's to old king Montazuma
For fun he buggered a puma
The puma one day
Bit both balls away
An example of animal humor.[1]
chorus

There once was a guy named Patrick
In hockey, he scored a hat trick
One night he was drinking, forgot to be thinking
And he wound up in bed with a fat chick
chorus

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